Unearth Me
S.H.I.F.T.
Unearth Me: Self Healing, Inspiring Future Transformation (SHIFT) is an evidence-based transformation program designed for individuals who have caused harm in their intimate relationships.
Why choose SHIFT?
SHIFT is for individuals who have acted in ways that caused hurt, harm or conflict in their intimate relationship, and who are seeking new conscious and responsible ways of being in relationship, whether it be with their spouse, ex-spouse, intimate partner or co-parent.
Most people come to SHIFT because they are facing a crisis or a break-up of their relationship. For some people, it’s not fully their choice to work on themselves, rather an outside entity, maybe their partner or a Court, is making them take a program. Some people come to SHIFT because they are seeking a “BIP” or “Domestic Violence Accountability Program.” Zelia is a certified BIP provider in the State of Wisconsin.
Regardless how a person comes to SHIFT, we listen and we understand.
At SHIFT we are not about blame, shame or judgment. We are about getting real and taking conscious responsibility for choices and behavior.
Understanding does not mean we make or accept excuses for harm, rather it means we understand root causes of hurtful behavior. Our work is about unearthing, exploring and transforming what lies beneath the harm.
We are a program that knows that valuing compassion in equal measure (no more and no less) as accountability is crucial for lasting impact. Without compassion, accountability programs run the risk of repeating the same tendencies toward coercive power rather than shared power.
SHIFT is a program that provides compassionate, effective services, and is designed with up-to-date knowledge and a foundation in healing centered practice.
SHIFT is a cohort model program, participants enter and conclude the program together. It features small group sizes of 4-8 people. It is offered in two different delivery models.
General: 24 sessions, two-session per week for 12 weeks (48 hours)
Intensive: 5-day, residential in-person program (40-50 hours) at a private Retreat Center on Lake Michigan just north of Sheboygan, WI (available in small groups or individually)
SHIFT Philosophy and Method
At Zelia, we believe that all of us are born whole—loving, loveable, capable, worthy, enough. No baby comes into this world with the intent or purpose to grow-up and cause harm to the people in their family, their children, the person they love, their intimate partner.
But yet we know that people who come to the SHIFT Program have caused harm to those they love, and have acted in ways disconnected from the essential wholeness into which they were born.
What happens during a person's development that disconnects them from their true self?
Human Development & Trauma:
Humans develop in response to their surroundings as babies, and these environments affect their self-concept, worldview, and behaviors.
When fundamental needs like attunement, safety, and nurturing aren’t met, it leads to adverse developmental impacts that carry into adulthood and simmer below the surface. The behaviors that are a result of a child figuring out how to get their physical and emotional needs met may manifest in adulthood in ways that harm themselves or others.
As a trauma-informed and healing centered program, at Zelia, we believe it is our job to support people in the journey of healing and transformation to become cycle breakers.
Abundant research in trauma science demonstrates this approach is evidence-informed, and practical experience tells us it is the right fit to the realities of people’s lives.
Science teaches us that changing these behaviors is not as simple as learning new attitudes, values and skills. Trauma is a wound of development, rooted in emotional pain and lodged within our brain, body and nervous system. If we don’t resolve the pain and its impacts, then when the pain is activated, when it’s triggered –and it will be– we will respond with our habitual survival-based coping mechanisms
THE ONLY WAY OUT OF TRAUMA IS TO HEAL.
To be clear, understanding trauma as a root cause of the cycle of hurt and harm does not provide an excuse for the perpetration of harmful behavior nor does it cast blame toward people being victimized. Rather it offers an explanation of the behavior—a strong, evidence-based, compelling explanation, that also helps us understand the way out.
Program Costs
General Program: $3,000
Includes 24 online small group Zoom live-sessions, two-session per week for 12 weeks, 48 hours of services
Intensive Program: $7,500
Includes small group (up to 4 people) 5 in-person full-day sessions, 40-50 hours total, and 5 nights private accommodation in Queen room and all meals at Unfragile Farm Retreat Center, Sheboygan, Wisconsin
Individual Program: $12,500
Includes 5 in-person full-day sessions, 40-50 hours total, and 5 nights private accommodation in Queen room and all meals at Unfragile Farm Retreat Center, Sheboygan, Wisconsin
Find out what the process of enrollment looks like here.
Have a question? See our SHIFT FAQs.
